Why Writing Is Like Sex

If you have ever been in love you will know that the best part about being in a sexual relationship is indeed the build-up and anticipation leading up to the event. New lovers are very conversant with this process.

It’s all about timing and the imagination. It all happens in the mind actually. If you are fortunate enough to have had a very long period of anticipation, the tension rises accordingly, in anticipating the final culmination of your desires.

Then, when the moment comes, the passion is deep and the explosive activity delicious. The fireworks at the end bring with them a sense of wellbeing and fulfilment. It can also leave you savouring that event, over and over in your mind for some time afterwards and then leading you on towards the very next episode.

The higher your libido (and your physical capabilities), the more times you can come back for an encore. But each encore is less intense than the previous one, and certainly none of them come up to the expectation and experience of that first intimate encounter.

Nevertheless, there is a level of comfort and still, enough desire to supply you with the most satisfying relationship and ongoing experiences with that partner.

One of the saddest traps you must try to avoid at all costs, is taking each other for granted, and in some long-term relationships it becomes a case of “performance on demand”. This is the kiss of death for any lively sexual activity. Not many can perform “on demand”, and in fact, most will not be able to perform at all, or very poorly at best.

Writing is no different. The best writers have us mesmerised in a frenzy of pleasure in reading and imagining their work for the first time. We make a sweet discovery when we first encounter that writing. Then, in desiring the publication and arrival of their explosive newest novel, we have a sweet sense of anticipation that builds into a crescendo. Look at the Harry Potter releases and the crowds lining up to buy each book, as a point in case!

But in most cases, the subsequent book releases are still greatly loved, and deeply enjoyed, but never equal to that “first time” experience!

And of course, when a writer starts to represent a pay check for a publisher, then there is the question of writing “on demand”. This is where the best of them can still falter. This is why some of the greatest writers have a number of “lesser” books, which don’t fulfil the expectations of their reading audience.

Love and sex is in the mind and soul of the participants. Writing also comes from the mind and the hearts of the writers who indulge us.

When sex is very, very good, then it’s an exquisite experience. When writing is fresh and exciting, it’s the most exhilarating experience for us, the readers.

I would love to know if it was good for you?

Image Source: www.playtogetherstaytogether.wordpress.com

Share
Posted in On Writing | Leave a comment

Armchair Tour Of Everyday Life

Fans of Robert Fulgham will be familiar with his most famous book which is entitled: “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten”. Of course this brilliant essayist continues his “armchair tour of everyday life”, (taken from the back cover of his book, “What On Earth Have I Done?”) and his stories and observations on life are simply delightfully explored in writings for the absolute pleasure of his readers.

As I trip through my own life, (and I mean trip, stumble and crawl), I go through the most amazing experiences; some of these are just wonderful, but many are painful ones too. The painful experiences are often inadvertently caused by me, simply by ignoring my gut feelings, when making difficult decisions.

But whether my experiences are sheer joy, or absolute misery, the bonus of being a writer is that they are all fodder for writing. We could do worse than take a leaf out of Robert Fulghum’s writings, and absorb and utilise life’s lessons along the paths we trample.

Below is a link to a very good example of what I am talking about. It’s entitled “What I Want.” Enjoy!!

Share
Posted in On Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Recommended: Play With Words – Often!

Play with words – you know you want to!! Here’s a good place to start.


“My Life. Six Words. One Sentence.”Make sure you watch it through. It’s worth it.

from SMITHmag

Share
Posted in On Writing | 1 Comment

Aha Moments For Writers…

Like most writers, I live life intensely. No, this doesn’t mean I live on the edge, or take risks by leaping off cliffs. Yes, it does mean that I tend to experience deeply. But the experience itself is often an ordinary one. The interpretation of the ordinary, however, becomes extraordinary.

Some moments reverberate sharply in the chamber of my mind shortly after the event. And others linger even longer. Why? Because they reveal some little irascible or conversely serendipitous aspect of the human condition and vaguely provide a puzzle piece (albeit a microscopic one) in the meaning of life.

Let’s face it, the experiences that we all live through every day of our lives are fodder for writers.

That mildly irritable and totally predictable question asked of any relatively well known author: “Where do you get your ideas?” springs to mind as I write this piece. Predictable answer: “…from real life experiences.”

But we all have real life experiences. What makes it different for writers?

The difference is to do with “attention and focus” and the writer is highly attuned to nuances. In fact, a writer will pick up on things that are not said, more than what is said in a conversation. They will notice the unnoticeable. The senses come into play and then the imagination kicks off….sometimes eradicating the reality of the moment and transporting the unsuspecting victim to another place; the writer drifts from the actual conversation, into another world and sometimes it takes great focus to return to the physical pesence of the original conversation or situation.

Take this morning. I was out with a social group, which I have been a part of for ten years now. The group is a mixture of individuals who take part in activities which are highly social in nature and many of our members have been long time attendees.

Having coffee with several people from this social group this morning, one woman told me that since her husband had died a number of years ago, she felt that this social group had “saved” her.

Another man said, “yes” this group, (which meets weekly), was a very important part of his life. There were more reflections from random individuals along similar lines, but I was already pondering the social implications of this. The Streisand number floated into my consciousness” “People who need people, are the luckiest people in the world…”

On returning home my needle was still stuck in this thought groove and I mentioned the conversation to my partner. He had not been present, but is profoundly astute when it comes to matters of the heart and human relationships. He simply said: “Darling, the world is full of lonely people.”

Now…..several hours later, I am still pondering human need. Mere mortals, myself included, need others in our lives.

This whole experience will now be weaved into the novel I am currently working on. Of course, the names and the context will be changed dramatically, but the nuances will be re-purposed to reveal a very authentic aspect of our lives: our palpable need for social contact!

If you can empathise with this notion of “aha” moments in everyday life, which have influenced or contributed to your writing and you have a recent example, I’d love you to share it with us.

Image Source: www.bigthink.com

Share
Posted in On Writing, Social Commentary | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Writing & The Divided Brain

I highly recommended this video to all thinkers.

It is particularly relevant for writers and describes the nature of the world we are currently operating in and the need for change.

The last minute, when he refers to Einstein’s view of the mind, sums it all up nicely I believe, but you would be wise to take the time out of your busy schedule to watch it all.

Do you agree with Iain McGilchrist about the fact that we need more right brain input and that we have largely become a fragmented, “left brain” society? Do you think his argument is convincing?

Certainly food for thought in my opinion!

Share
Posted in On Writing, Social Commentary | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment